best buddies
by Valerian Winterblade Altais
Summary: Oneshot.Grimmjow is very annoyed so what happens when gin decides to guilt trip him into doing something? i know, im horrible at summary writing. its a happy crack fict.


A/N: Another story I found in my computer…right…I'll get to writing potter ficts soon. No I don't own bleach. Pity, there could have orgies everyday in the show and manga if I did. There are just way too many guys for there not to be.

Also written a long time ago, I apologize if I'm a bit outdated with anything. On a side note, I'll start my harry potter craziness soon, I'm just posting out all the half written anime ficts that I cant bear to delete first.

Rating: K

genre: humour.

Pairing: none.

Summary: Oneshot. Grimmjow is very annoyed so what happens when gin decides to guilt trip him into doing something?

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Grimmjow's pov

I really hate being guilt trip. I mean I know I promise some stuff and I sometimes end up not keeping my promises but seriously, I have reasons! Although I don't really care about their feelings its really annoying to hear them whine in my ear. Seriously, is it so fun to whine at me just to see me get irritated?

I swear the world's going to hell. Everyone keeps annoying me recently and its really pissing me off. I swear the next asshole who dares to try and guilt-trip me wil-

''Grimmy chaaan!"

Damn it… I can't kill this one yet. Shit. He's walking my way with a creepier than usual smile. Double shit. Didn't Gin get chased out of the throne room because he tried to get Aizen to do something? Triple shit. Shit isn't supposed to be able to stack so high, it would topple, so why dump all this shit on me?

"Oh my god. Fuck off u irritating clown. Go haunt Aizen or something." I reply already feeling like strangling that annoying reaper.

"Aww grimmy chan that's so mean! I just want to spend some time with my darling kitty cat now''

Fighting the sudden impulse to jump out of the nearest window to get far away from the creepy bastard I managed to choke a reply. "Don't call me kitty cat or grimmy chan or any other weird names go away and please I'll pay you if you never come find me again."

Wish it would be so easy. The universe doesn't like me a lot and so think it's really fun to fuck with me.

"But grimmy, we should have some fun together since we never do." gin whined.

Naggy shinigami.

"I don't really want to spend time with a psyco like you so no thanks." I rudely reply hoping praying and begging he would take a hint and jump off a building in his free time.

"grimmy…" No such luck.

Suddenly I thought of something and because I don't think before I act, I said something really stupid and it would be the start of something I truly regretted. Should never have opened my big mouth.

"Aizen threw you out of the room for annoying him and the others are avoiding you and because I'm free you are here to waste my time and annoy me right?"

With his plan exposed gin stopped beating around the bush and got right into it. I never proclaimed to be very smart.

"Yup! so let's spend time together!" the bloody pale clown cooed. Cooed! At me! Can shit stack to four stories high? It better not topple on me. And because I'm busy and he's annoying, I refused.

"No. Go away." I deadpanned before walking off. But life isn't easy and mine never was. He starts crying. Dear god. Or the self-proclaimed 1, save me! But no time to be standing there praying to whoever that will listen, the psychotic clown is up to something again and I'm not tempted to find out. So I continued to walk away, I'm not running, I'm simply walking a lot faster than usual. But nooo the world simply has to fuck with me.

"Grimmy chan is so mean, you are evil. Evil! I wonder why was your mother so stupid as to give birth to you."

Normally I wouldn't really care. I can't remember much about when I was living, but I believe my mother tried to kill me at one point in her life though. Wasn't very nice but chucking things at her then looking all innocent was quite fun for me. But today the soul reaper just rubbed me wrong. Like trying to rub himself all over me when I'm nice and dry and he's soaking wet. I'm like a towel is it? When sad and about to cry, come to grimy mummy and I will wipe all your tears away. God the mental image! Now I'll have nightmares of never having any peace as a tiny gin pops out from nowhere screaming my eardrums off for kicks. I rather drop dead. Or he can.

I shunpo next to him and in a second he caught me in a headlock. Crap. Should have walked away. ''Hehe cau-ght yo-u! So nice of you to accompany me grimy chan. Let's go have some fun together! We'll be best buddies!'' gin declared.

Shoot me. Please! Best buddies with a psyco clown? Yes I imagine that will go down fine. Look my friends, there's a picture of me and my best buddy. Took it just this summer. See, we're both wearing straitjackets; oh we're so similar right? The only difference is the fact he's grinning like no tomorrow and I'm screaming like no tomorrow. Took us a few hours to break out of the mental hospital, the drugs took quite a while to wear off. I tore my straitjacket in seconds but if you ask my buddy gin I'm sure he can show you his, he kept his and still occasionally wears it for fun. So where were we? Best buddies? What did _you_ do with _your_ best buddy this summer? Oh yes, brilliant way to make friends.

''Gin! Let me go! I don't want to follow you to do some stupid shit. Haunt someone else!'' I yelled, tugging or trying to tug my head away from the clown. I'll deny it to my dying day, rather embarrassingly, I didn't manage to move an inch away.

Apparently either gin was fed up with me or something I said made him upset, he started to tear up. Then sob. Then whimper pathetically before letting me go and rubbing his eyes slowly like a little child. ''I'm always..sob..alone. No one wants to..sob..play with..sob..meee! grimmy chan promised..sob..sob..'' the shinigami whined, his voice going higher and louder. Bloody hell, Aizen will gut me into pieces. In a few seconds he will start wailing like a demented baby and the whole of las noches will run here and once Aizen finds out I'm the reason gin is crying, my life? What life? I existed? Shit. I can just see the stories of shit all toppling down on me. I admit defeat this once, better to be gracious and willing to follow *cough* blackmailed *cough* into whatever the shinigami wants then to get cut into tiny pieces.

'' Er gin? I promised? Yes yes I remember! Let's go do what you wanted to do! If you stand there and cry we would have less time to play…come on!'' I tried to convince gin.

Apparently the clown didn't need more encouragement. Within seconds he stopped sobbing, that was my first hint to my ticket to a long ride to hell, and smiled. Creepy smile with too much teeth. What have I done now.

5 hours later I conclude that gin should simply be avoided at all costs. I always knew that nutcase had a few thousand screws missing in his head. Christ my whole body feels like its on fire. Stupid psyco clown. I now have a new story to share. This summer my _best buddy _tried to roast me like a pig. He wondered if I would taste like a cooked cat and so decided to experiment by hanging me over a fire. No harm done, I managed to run away before he cut out a piece of my arm. My body is burnt in 4 different areas and I'm sure the mental scaring of having a smiling way too widely gin with a sharp sword slowly coming closer will never leave me but hey I'm alive! Best buddies huh? Want to be best buddies with me?

Aizen better repay me for this. I'm a very easy person, a restraining order for gin for the rest of my life would do fine. After all, I kept gin from roasting other people for now. I tied him to a pole and set it on fire. If he likes roasted people he should roast himself first. But you'll say we're best buddies right? Right, I'm fine with that. We'll just be best buddies from a distance. A very far distance where I'm not anywhere near cooking point if I have anything to say about it.

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Thank you for reading! Pls review if you have the time! No flames pls I don't have any marshmallows with me.


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